4 Things To Know If You Can't Orgasm

It’s all about the attitude

As with many things in life, success comes from positive thinking, which then in turn leads to positive results. The same is true when it comes to having an orgasm – if you think that you are someone who will never be able to have one, then you will most likely struggle, but if you believe that you are totally able to master the art of orgasm and are prepared to put in the groundwork, then mind-blowing sex is definitely in your future. It’s also really important to stay relaxed and to try not to overthink the situation. Stay in the moment and try to clear your mind of any other thoughts other than your partner and the sensations you are feeling. Putting on some soft music and low lighting will help to ward off distractions, as well as inducing you into a more relaxed state of mind.

Different positions could help

Sexual positions are a very personal preference and many women have their own favourites when it comes to helping them to achieve orgasm. Popular positions include those which allow the woman to be in control of the speed and movement, such as The Cowgirl, The Reverse Cowgirl and The Lapdance – these all involve the women taking the ‘top’ position so that she is most dominant and can lead the action. Other positions allow for a deeper penetration, which could help with G-spot stimulation inside the vagina. These include Doggy Style and variations of Missionary, where the woman’s legs are suspended on the man’s shoulders for a steeper angle. Back to front positions, such as Spooning and Doggy Style also mean that the man can use his free hands to stimulate the woman’s clitoris, which often results in her reaching orgasm sooner.

Foreplay is great

Foreplay can play a massive role when it comes to climaxing. After all, reaching orgasm is a steady climb, and usually requires lots of build up before it happens. Experiment with different things and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Many women love oral sex and find that the soft strokes of their clitoris with their partner’s tongue helps to heighten the sensations they feel before moving into intercourse. Sex toys can also be useful, both in foreplay and during sex, and it’s not just vibrators that you have to choose; cock rings, vibrating pillows, tingling lubes and intimate massagers are just a few of the accessories you can try out to see which feels the best.

Practice makes perfect

If you have recently met a new partner and are struggling to climax with them remember that it often takes time for you both to get into a good rhythm together as nerves, embarrassment and anxiety can all get in the way. Masturbating can be a good way to find out what you like and what brings you close to orgasm so that you can tell your partner – or why not masturbate in front of him so that he can get a first-hand view of what really turns you on! Remember that communication is very often the key to a great sex life, so be open with each other and don’t be afraid to say if something isn’t working for you – being honest will pay off in the long run when you discover your orgasm potential.

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