Back at school, oral sex was a ‘base’ you reached, a step in the right direction towards the main event – something to tell your friends about but nothing special. Then something happens. You grow up. Oral sex becomes a journey and a whole adventure in itself, especially when it comes to the vagina. It’s a great form of foreplay but it can also be the main event.
It is fairly common knowledge that women are emotional creatures, and typically need warming up – both mentally and physically. This is probably Mother Nature’s way of making sure sex is pain-free and pleasurable, and the only way this can happen is to take it slow to start with. You have to do it right, there is technique and consideration involved and you must react to her signals and respond accordingly throughout – think of the whole event as a work in progress.
Proceedings can start any way you want them to; use your imagination. Maybe you could make her a promise the night before, and start the mental foreplay well in advance. Or it can be completely spontaneous. To start, begin with her clothes on and gently caress anywhere on her body. Be confident but remain gentle to start with.
Build It Up
As things heat up and clothes come off, it’s really important for you both to be in comfortable positions, so that you are free to focus on what you need to – her vagina. Start by letting her feel the natural rhythm of your breath on her skin, remember once she starts to become aroused her whole body experiences a heightened level of sensitivity and small discrete actions can actually tip her over the edge. Gently move your mouth around her panty line including her lower stomach and do what feels natural and right. Lick, or even gently nibble as you go along. Even if her pants aren’t actually on, you still tease her and make her wait. Do not suddenly make a bee-line for the clitoris, she will need a warm up of some sort.
After you have teased her sufficiently, and the time is right to move to her clitoris, Mark Coriddi, author of The Mount Method: a Guide to Pleasuring Women, suggests that the first thing you need to do is establish a ‘mount’. According to Coriddi, both men and women have a mount and they fit together perfectly during Cunnilingus. The mans mount is located in the upper lip above his teeth, and the women’s is in a small indent in the centre of her pubic bone. These mounts fit together perfectly for optimal clitoral stimulation. Thanks Mother Nature.
Drive Her Wild
When your mouth first makes contact with the clitoris remember not too hard and not too soft; treat each time as the first time and get to know each other on that particular day. It is fair to say this marks the end of the warm up. Listen to her signals; find the pressure that is right for her. There is a hood that covers the clitoris, some women like direct contact with the clit, some like it over the hood, some don’t mind either, some change their mind each time…. the point is, its up to you to work out what she wants at that moment. Spread her lips and flick your tongue against establishing a pace from here.
When you venture even further south you need to tantalise her again. She will probably be red hot by now and wanting your tongue, fingers or penis to enter her, but she has to wait. Move your tongue around the entrance before diving in with a strong pointy tongue – like a tongue erection, if you will. At this point you could keep your tongue completely still and flat and let her grind against you to her own pace – the sensation of your tongue will feel incredible, let her take control for a while. Now is also a moment you could use a sex toy such as a vibrator. This can intensify the pleasure your mouth bring massively.
Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander! They could visit her breasts, nipples, stomach, thighs and bottom – groping, teasing, tickling and touching all over. This will make her feel like you cant get enough of her and she will naturally relax even more. You could also let a cheeky finger venture towards the anus, she will let you know if she likes it and you can both take it from there.
All you have to do is communicate and remember that every vagina is different; what worked for your last girlfriend could be the last thing in the world this one likes. The key is always communication. There is no need to be shy, you are already naked and having sex, ask her what she wants and give it to her.
You only have to ask a handful of people to realise that many women find it hard to orgasm through penetration alone, which is why oral sex is so fabulous.