For some, the idea of no strings attached sex or a friends with benefits relationship is an unattainable dream. What could be better than all the excitement and fun of sex without having to worry about commitment?
But it’s not all fun and games. There are a few things you may want to consider when it comes to no-strings fun. You need to think about keeping yourself groomed, you need to make sure you don’t get too clingy or over-reliant on your partner, and, most importantly, you need to think about keeping things safe.
Before we dive into our top 5 rules for a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship, however, let’s get the formalities out the way. In case there are any casual sex newbies out there, here are the no strings attached basics:
What is casual sex?
So, what do we mean when we talk about casual sex or friends with benefits relationship? Well, it’s fairly straightforward. Friends with benefits are most commonly thought of as a sex with a friend where the romantic side of things is absent. The idea here is that the relationship is sex only with no intention of emotional attachment or commitment.
How to become friends with benefits
Initiating casual sex with a friend can be very tricky, we certainly don’t advise you to walk up to your best friend and ask them for sex for example. Unfortunately, there isn’t an easy answer when it comes to the ‘how’ of no strings sex. Our advice would be to play it safe, see if things organically develop with a friend or acquaintance and go from there.
5 rules for friends with benefits
Right, basics covered, now you need to consider the ground rules. Embarking on a no strings attached relationship without thinking about our rules beforehand will only lead to trouble later down the line.
To avoid any upset and to ensure you and your prospective playmate are on the same page, here is our countdown of the top 5 rules you need to consider together before, and during, your FWB relationship:
- Be honest
- Make sure it’s fun
- Keep yourself groomed
- Don’t get clingy
- Stay safe
5. Be honest
When it comes to no strings sex, it’s important to be honest. The last thing you want is to get involved with someone on a sex only basis without having an open discussion about ground rules first.
Can you see other people during the relationship? Is there anything that is off the table, such as anal or cuddles after the sex itself? There are loads of things you may want to get out in the open ahead of the game to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.
4. Make sure it’s fun
Make sure you’re having fun. A friends with benefits agreement is meant to be about having great sex with a friend who you trust, without any of the relationship complications you would usually get. This means the agreement should be all about having a great time.
As soon as you start having disagreements with your casual sex partner, or you start taking your problems out on each other, the agreement may have reached its natural conclusion.
3. Keep yourself groomed
This should go without saying, but just because you’re in a casual, no strings attached relationship it doesn’t mean you have an excuse for not keeping yourself nicely groomed.
There’s a time and place for letting things go a little, and this certainly isn’t one of them. Your friends with benefits arrangement is all about the sex, meaning you should make all the more effort to keep yourself in check and keep your partner happy.
2. Don’t get clingy
This one’s important. The whole point of a no-strings, casual sex arrangement is the no strings, casual part. Communication needs to be kept very breezy and expectation free. As soon as you or your partner start pressuring each other, the casual fun element will start to fade into the background.
1. Keep it safe
Finally, if you’re considering a no-strings relationship, keeping your casual sex safe should be your number one consideration. If there is one thing that is guaranteed to suck the fun out of your no strings arrangement, it’s an STI rearing its ugly head.
Have the safety discussion as early as possible in the relationship to avoid any nasty surprises. It’s totally acceptable to ask your partner to get an STI screening if you feel you need to, you could even head over to the clinic together if you both feel it necessary.
Once tested, grab a pack of condoms on your way home before you get your no-strings fun underway. Why not try Durex Extra Safe condoms? Durex Extra Safe condoms are slightly thicker and extra lubricated, enabling you to enjoy great sex with added peace of mind.
How to turn casual sex into a relationship
As well-meaning as our intentions may be, things quite often don’t go as smoothly as planned. Sex is an intimate act that can often cause feelings to naturally arise between two people. In short, don’t be surprised if one or both of you begin to develop some attachment.
If the stars have aligned and you find you both have feelings, then turning your casual sex into a relationship will likely already be in the works. If you are unsure about how your partner feels, it might be time to sit down and have a chat with them to see how they feel.
Just remember, honesty is the best policy when it comes to casual sex. Be open with your partner and things will run a lot more smoothly.
Want to know more about all things sex? Head over to our Explore Sex blog now where we discuss everything from sexual health issues such as erectile dysfunction through to how to give an amazing blowjob.
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