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Living Apart Together


Couples live apart for a multitude of reasons. Regardless of how long you’ve been in the relationship, it never hurts to have a few tips to help you on your way.

For those who are actively practising a ‘living apart together’ relationship, it’s time to rekindle the romance. Here is everything you need to know about living apart together.

Tips for living apart together

There may be a number of reasons why you’re living apart, and these could be due to personal preference or simply because of circumstance.

Whether it’s something you’ve both agreed on, or you are living apart together because of lockdown or social distancing restrictions, here are some great tips to make the whole experience run a lot more smoothly:

  • Daily check-ins
  • Stay positive in the relationship
  • Communicate in a variety of ways
  • Surprise your partner
  • Prepare for face to face time

Daily check-ins

It sounds simple but checking in with your partner throughout the day keeps that constant source of connection, even if it’s a fleeting call or just a couple of texts.

Where you can, aim for quality time, though – set aside portions of the day to truly focus on one another. If catching up over mid-morning coffee is typical for you, set aside twenty minutes in the morning for a video call.

In the evening you could even book in a call for some phone sex! Just because you’re living apart it doesn’t mean you can’t maintain intimacy. Check out our beginner’s guide to phone sex to get you started.

Stay positive

Even if you and your significant other are fully into the swing of an ‘apart together’ living situation, it’s very important to maintain positivity.

End the day by telling your partner something you appreciate about them. Not only will it make them feel good, and strengthen your connection, but it’ll also help you to work out what is it that you value in a partner.

woman laughing

Communication, communication, communication!

Love letters: everyone deserves a handwritten statement of affection. We’ve all experienced the crumpled scrap of paper that grandparents get out at family occasions as evidence of their ‘courting’ years.

Times may have moved on, but there’s something extremely personal about taking pen to paper and writing some words of appreciation to your partner. This exercise can also help you to express feelings that you may find difficult to voice face-to-face.

It’s important to keep in contact via the usual methods of course but mixing it up with a love letter or a conversational email will really add some variety to how you and your partner communicate.

Surprise them

Your time away from each other is a great time to focus on yourself, but that doesn’t mean you need to neglect your partner while you work on your projects. A great way to maintain a successful living apart together relationship is to surprise your significant other.

Think about sending them a gift or surprising them with a thoughtful ‘missing you’ card. For those looking to take things up a notch, tantalise your partner by ordering them sex toys or lube. This should help build up the anticipation of seeing them after your time apart.

Prepare to be reunited

Whether your back together following an extended break, or you are being reunited following the easing of lockdown restrictions, it never hurts to prepare. Why not try stocking up on some massage gels so you can give them a real treat?

If massage isn’t your thing, why not research some exciting new sex positions to really get the adrenaline going? Our sex positions eBook has everything you need to know to prepare for some one on one time with your partner – download it for free now!

What are the benefits of living apart together?

Live autonomously

The main benefit of living apart together that you don’t get when cohabiting is the sense of freedom. Living apart means that you can build your lifestyle on your terms. Although this may sound lonely, with specific time allotted to seeing your partner, you may find you get a lot more out of it.

If you aren’t living apart together by choice (maybe social distancing restrictions have put a hold on the big move) why not use your alone time to focus on yourself.

Develop new skills

One of the great benefits of living apart together is there is so much opportunity to develop your skills, broaden your knowledge, and then share this with your loved one.

Discover and share food recipes, create a must-watch film list, why not even try setting each other some skill development goals? When you are finally reunited, you will find you have loads to catch up on.

Disadvantages of living apart together

Finding the time for them

Living apart together gives you the freedom to manage your own schedule; however, there is most certainly a flip side to this. If you suddenly find yourself swamped with work, you may find it difficult to fit time in with your partner as easily. If you’re living together, they’re there for you no matter how busy your day has been.


Want to know more about all things sex? Head over to the Explore Sex blog where we discuss everything from anal to STIs – nothing is off the table!



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