Great sex could sometimes use a little more spice
An idea for some couples that can add some excitement to the bedroom are sex toys. There are a few reasons to try them, although the subject may seem a little out of bounds at first. For instance, US research suggests that most women have used them, and that those that do experience much more satisfaction than those that don't. Also, many women (and some men) can't experience orgasm from just sex alone.
Finding new ways to play with each other is a huge turn on, and a great way of spicing up even the longest sexual relationships.
Whilst the possibility of an intense climax may make things more interesting - the combination of toys and bodily touch can raise excitement to a whole new height, and can help explore your body in different and sensual ways. We’ve written this to help you think about how sex toys could feature in and enhance your own sex life, and how an openness and discussion of your fantasies could bring you closer as a couple.
Types of Toy
There are so many different types of toy on the market. For first time users it can all seem daunting. With a little more experience you may know what you like, but if you’re thinking of introducing your partner to the mix you’ll want to think about what they might be feeling first. Having a chat about some of the points below may help to spur some fun ideas.
- There are many different kinds of toy which can be used on all areas of the body, but particularly designed for the clitoris, vagina, penis or anus. Some may work for you, and some won’t – that’s ok.
- They come in an array of sizes, materials, and designs, aimed to stimulate different areas in different ways.
- Some are vibrators (with different levels of strength), others have bumps and ridges to hit all the right spots and some have a mixture of both.Some sex toys are specifically designed to be used for people having sex together such as vibrating cock rings and dildos.
- Handcuffs and silk ties can be used on a partner, but remember to take turns! Using lube or pleasure gels with sex toys can help increase the pleasure and sensation.
It could take you some time to experiment to find the right one for you, or for your partner, but pushing a few barriers is a great way to finding out what the best sex is for you and your partner.
Introducing a Toy
Once you know how to make them work for you, you might want to think about how they can work for you and your partner. Finding new ways to play with each other is a huge turn on, and a great way of spicing up even the longest sexual relationships. However, communicating that to a partner may require a few discussions to open them up to the idea.
For even the most open minded, a sex toy can be somewhat taboo. You or your partner may feel insecure about adding anything more to what’s already a passionate bedroom. First, it’s important not to bring something in without talking about it first. And second, it’s important to respect boundaries, even if your tastes are very different. Although some people just keep theirs for when they are by themselves, if you want to explore together then experimentation is just as much fun, and you’ll soon discover that even the openness that a discussion of desires and fantasies brings can add another level to your sex life.
 Debby Herbenick, et al Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use by Women in the United States: Results from a Nationally Representative Study. The Journal of Sexual Medicine 6(7):1857–1866.
 Shere Hite. The Hite Report: On Female Sexuality. Pandora: 1976