How to achieve an erection

A lot of people think getting—and staying—hard is as easy as plugging in your phone. But unlike a charger, which usually works at the flick of a switch, getting an erection is way more complex.

Achieving an erection usually happens in response to psychological stimulation, something you’ve seen, felt, heard, or touched. The brain picks up on the excitement and sends a signal to the penis—basically giving it the green light—telling the erectile tissue to relax so blood can flow in and things can rise to the occasion. At the same time, the blood vessels in the penis open and close through a series of valves, trapping blood, which leads to an erection. Think of it as a multi-step process, not something you can just switch on and off.

And for an estimated 4.3 million men in the UK with erectile dysfunction (ED), getting hard is well… hard. If this is something you struggle with, you’re not alone.

What influences your ability to maintain an erection?

From the body’s POV, getting an erection is a team sport where physical, psychological, and emotional factors all have a role to play. But if one player is off their game, the whole line-up may struggle.

Physical influences

The body needs the right conditions in place before the multi-step process of getting a hard-on can even kick in. But physical factors can often show up uninvited and interfere. Because erections rely on healthy blood flow to the penis, anything that gets in the way of this can influence the body’s ability to get hard. This may include the following:

• Health conditions that damage blood vessels, such as cardiovascular (heart) disease, high blood pressure and diabetes

Other physiological factors that can influence ED include:

• Hormone problems, specifically low testosterone
• Age—while age alone doesn’t cause ED, you may have a greater risk of developing it if you are 40 or older, as the likelihood of underlying risk factors increases as you age.

Psychological influences

As the main organ responsible for processing psychological stimuli, the brain plays a starring role in erections. It’s essential for getting you in the mood, because without the right signals from the brain, the arousal process won’t even begin. But it’s not always easy for the brain, psychological factors can sometimes throw the performance off script, such as:

• Stress
• Anxiety
• Depression

Emotional influences

Erectile dysfunction (ED) isn’t just a physical issue. It can be emotional too. You may feel frustration, embarrassment or even shame. And the more it happens, the more your brain can go into overdrive, trying to “think” its way to a hard-on…which ironically can make getting one less likely. Sometimes, the harder you try to get an erection, the less likely it is that you will.

Over time, these feelings can turn into sexual performance anxiety (SPA), where anxiety, fear or worry gets in the way of your enjoyment of sex, sexual performance or interest in having sex. SPA can increase pressure to perform and contribute to ED, but ED can also contribute to SPA. The two are closely linked and can perpetuate each other.

But SPA doesn’t just stay in the bedroom. It could also spill into your everyday life, potentially leading to:

• Feelings of insecurity and reduced confidence
• Heightened pressure to pleasure your partner
• Withdrawing from intimacy and relationship or partner issues

Which lifestyle changes can help support stronger erections?

Experiencing ED can be challenging. The good news? There are steps you can take to help give your body a leg up when it comes to achieving erections. Small, realistic lifestyle changes can sometimes help and, in some cases, reverse ED.

Physical activity and diet

First up, exercise, but don’t panic, you don’t need to run a marathon. One research study showed that just 30 minutes of walking a day can help lower the risk of ED by 41%. What’s more, regular exercise can provide significant physical and mental health benefits, which is a good thing when stress and anxiety are known to affect erections.

Fuelling your body well, alongside moving your body helps lower the risk of developing ED while also helping to improve symptoms for those experiencing it. Healthy choices that include more fruit, vegetables and whole-grain foods not only help you feel better but might also aid your ability to get and stay hard.

Sleep

Next, to the bedroom. No, not for sex—for sleep. Improving the quality and duration of the time you spend in the sack plays a key role in nearly all aspects of physical health and may help decrease the risk of diseases known to affect ED, such as heart disease.

Alcohol and smoking

Other lifestyle factors that can impact erection quality include smoking and alcohol. If you’re a smoker, the thought of giving up might seem daunting. But stopping can help improve, and in some cases, could prevent ED.

Alcohol can affect your normal bodily functions, slowing your brain’s responses, reducing blood flow to the penis and disrupting hormone levels. So reducing your alcohol intake can help treat and improve ED. And while being teetotal isn’t for everyone, one global study found that 88% of participants saw an improvement in their ED after 3 months on the wagon.

How to help take the stress out of getting an erection

SPA and ED can create a cycle that has the potential to worsen erection quality: someone experiencing ED might feel stressed or worried, which can lead to anxiety in the bedroom and further worsen ED symptoms. However, there are practical steps you can start implementing at home to help.

Mindfulness and self-care

Stress and SPA can start in the brain, which, when you’re trying to get in the mood, is probably not where you want to be. But mindfulness practices can help with this. Mindfulness involves paying attention to what is going on inside and outside your body, moment by moment. And this can help you connect more meaningfully to your partner.

If poor body image tries to jump into bed with you and your partner, it’s unlikely it was invited. But if it shows up, it can be hard to ignore—and it may impact your sex life, potentially resulting in less satisfying sex with your partner. Working towards a body-positive mindset could be a good first step towards alleviating sexual dysfunction. Sex Educator Emily Nagoski suggests paying attention, every day, to the things you like about your body. It might seem hard at first, but repetition is key to helping you feel more comfortable and confident.

Understand your body and your preferences

Adults need sex education too and there’s nothing wrong with that. Learning about yourself and your preferences is a great way to gain confidence in the bedroom and help reduce SPA, while also having fun with an understanding partner.

It might also be helpful to move away from the idea that sex is purely penetrative. Erections aren’t essential for pleasure. It can come in many forms—including with hands and mouths.

Open communication

Lastly—but importantly—communicating with your partner is essential. Talking about sex may not come naturally to everyone, in fact, it can feel vulnerable and scary, especially if you’re stressed or suffering from ED. But it’s been shown that couples who engage in communication about their needs and desires are more sexually and relationally satisfied.

How to get and keep an erection

If all your players are on the pitch and everyone’s physically and mentally ready to win, there are external things you can do to support your erection:

• Build arousal – Use foreplay and sensory experiences to build desire and signal to your brain that it’s time to start the arousal process. Experiment with pressure, rhythm, and pace to find out what works for you.
• Manage timing – Sex doesn’t have to be a sprint, so take things slow. Alternate your rhythm and intensity or pause when you need to.
• Get creative - Bring a toy into the mix or experiment with a vibrating cock ring which sits at the base of the penis and can improve pleasure for everyone involved. You could also try a stimulating gel to add sensation, or a lube to reduce friction and help make sex better.
• Let go of the pressure to perform – Sometimes the harder you try to get an erection, the less likely it might be that you will. If this happens, focus on intimacy and being present without thinking of penetration as the ultimate goal.

Learn more about how to get an erection and keep it for longer here.

Still struggling? How to get help getting and staying hard

ED might not be straightforward. But it’s not something you have to go through alone. There’s a lot of help and support available when you're ready.

If your ED symptoms don’t improve with lifestyle and stress-management techniques, or if you have concerns, speak to a healthcare professional, such as a pharmacist or GP. Or visit the NHS website for further guidance and support.

And remember, working through ED doesn’t mean you have to stop being intimate. You might find Durex’s Performance range helpful—and fun—with the right person.

Moving forward with ED

Remember how we said getting an erection is a team sport? Everyone needs to show up because hard-ons rely on the nervous system, blood vessels, muscles and the brain all working together.

But even when everyone is pitching in, erections won’t feel, form, or look the same every time—and that’s ok. It’s normal for them to vary in strength, speed, and duration.

Just like you, your erections can change from day to day, too.

Durex Sildenafil 50mg film-coated tablets. For erectile dysfunction problems in adult men. Always read the label. Ask your pharmacist if this medicine is suitable for you.

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