If you’re a newcomer to lesbian sex – maybe you have only recently entered your first same sex relationship, for example – you may find the prospect a little daunting. Sure, there is plenty of resources out there to help navigate coming out as gay or bisexual, but how much of it tackles the anxieties you may have around having lesbian sex for the first time?

Rest assured, when it comes to lesbian sex, we know what we’re talking about. Got questions about the basics of lesbian sex? In need of some products to help maximise your pleasure with your partner? We cover all in our introduction to lesbian sex.  

What is lesbian sex?

Let’s start simple; what do we actually mean when we talk about lesbian sex? Many antiquated traditional views may define sex as being penetrative sex only, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth. In essence, sex covers every intimate, sexual act you may experience with a partner that involves stimulation of the genitals.

That’s right, lesbian sex can include mutual masturbation, cunnilingus (oral for her), the use of sex toys, as well as tribbing which is the sexual act of rubbing erogenous zones against your partner’s.

How does lesbian sex work?

How lesbian sex works really depends on the type of stimulation you and your partner may decide upon. What type of stimulation you choose can also affect the positions you may want to experiment with during sex. Lesbian sex can be broadly broken down into three categories:

  • Oral
  • Manual
  • Tribbing

two women kissing

Oral stimulation (cunnilingus)

Oral sex for her works just as it would for a mixed-sex couple. It involves stimulation of the erogenous zones of the vagina with the mouth and tongue.

Manual stimulation (fingering)

Manual stimulation, or stimulation using the hands typically involves the use of fingers to massage erogenous zones such as the clitoris, and can also involve penetration of the vaginal opening.

Tribbing (including scissoring)

Scissoring is a small part of the wider category of tribbing which involves rubbing of your genitals on your partner, with scissoring being the act of vagina on vagina tribbing. You can read more about scissoring in our article, Everything you need to know about tribbing.

Alongside the main types of stimulation, sex toys can also be introduced. Toys such as dildos or vibrators could be used as the primary form of stimulation, or they could be used to add an extra dimension in conjunction with another form of stimulation during lesbian sex.

The Durex Intense Delight Bullet Vibrator for example can be a great way to add powerful vibrations to yours or your partner's erogenous zones during sex.

durex intense delight bullet vibrator sex toy

What is lesbian sex like?

So, you’ve got the basics of what lesbian sex is, but what does it actually feel like? As with all things sex, if you have never had an orgasm or had your erogenous zones stimulated by yourself or a partner before, it’s not the easiest feeling to explain.

What we can say is that it doesn’t differ from any other form of sex in terms of how rewarding it can be. It can be a wonderfully pleasurable act to share with a partner; in the right circumstances, it can be mind-blowing.

Just remember, it’s really important that you and your partner both consent to what is happening. If you have a conversation beforehand with your partner, not only should it help you feel more relaxed, but should also help you both set ground rules and boundaries before you get started.

How to have lesbian sex

When it comes to how to have lesbian sex, there isn’t any hard and fast rules. If you are unsure where to start, why not try getting comfortable with your partner and trying out some of the forms of stimulation together to see what you both like.

If you are looking for some tips on positions to try during lesbian sex, then why not head over to our tribbing guide where we run through some great positions to get you started.

Is lesbian sex safe?

Also really important is safety. It’s a misconception that by engaging in lesbian sex you are less likely to contract sexually transmitted infections (STIs) than if you were to engage in penetrative, mixed-sex intercourse. This isn’t the case. Any sexual contact with a partner could result in the spreading of STIs.

For this reason, it’s important that you both get checked with a sexual health screening if you’re having lesbian sex together for the first time. Condoms can also be used to cover toys, like dildos, and can be quickly changed when swapping the toy between partners.

 

Got more questions when it comes to all things sex? From sex positions to sexual health issues, we talk all things sex in our Explore Sex blog. Want some more information around sex for lesbians? Why not head over to our guide to cunnilingus, oral sex for her.

 

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