How To Talk Dirty: The Ultimate Guide

Sweet nothings just got 100% hotter with our dirty talk dos and don’ts


Talking dirty has a bit of a bad reputation – think cheesy porn scenes and four-letter words being screamed at high pitch. But the truth is that dirty talk is used by many people, and it’s a great way to heat things up, as well as improve the connection between you and your partner(s).

If you are planning on introducing some dirty talk into your routine, you may find it a little nerve-wracking to begin with, but fear not, our guide is here to help. Here is everything you need to know about dirty talk, from some general sex talk tips to the dos and don’ts of talking dirty.

Talking dirty to a partner as part of the build-up to sex can heighten the sexual tension.


Talking dirty to a partner(s) as part of the build-up to sex can heighten sexual tension, leading naturally into physical foreplay and increased passion during sex. In fact, teasing can start hours before you are even alone together and get the anticipation going.

Dirty talk can also help when you are far away from the person you are craving. Picking up the phone to talk dirty, or even better, video chatting when you’re feeling horny can be a great experience. By knowing what to say to excite your partner, you can both get in the mood a lot quicker. Teamed with some sex toys, a little extra lubricant stimulation and dimmed lights – it will be like you’re not even apart.


The idea of repeating obscenities during sex doesn’t turn everyone on, but it doesn’t have to be all rude and dirty talk. Speaking to each other during sex can help to spark the moment and can also help to reassure both partners that they’re doing a good job. Hearing your partner moan with pleasure helps you to know that you’re doing something right and might encourage you to be a bit more daring.


Do: Keep it simple

If you and your partner(s) are beginners when it comes to the art of talking dirty, then the best piece of advice we can give you is to keep things simple. Try not to worry too much about cooking up elaborate, fantasy role-play scenarios as it’s just going to create extra pressure. Instead, just focus on basic actions and how you’re feeling with your sex talk.

Do: Discover what phrases get them going

Your sexuality is completely unique – you almost certainly like things done a little differently than how your partner does. Talking dirty is no exception to this rule. With this in mind, find out what kind of talk gets them going. Either work your way through some different kinds of dirty talk or simply ask them what they like to hear.

Do: Tell them how turned on you are

A great way to get them going is to tell them how turned on you are. Hearing how turned on you are helps ramp up the excitement. You can even try telling them what you want to do to yourself because of how turned on you are.

Do: Tell them what to do

Sometimes, it can be a turn-on to lean into telling your partner(s) what to do. They may get a real kick out of being told. If it’s their kind of thing, tell them where to put their mouth or what position to move their body into. If they enjoy being submissive, they may quiver at the sound of some sexy instructions.

Do: Tell them what you’re going to do

On the flip side, why not try telling them what you’re going to do? This can heighten the anticipation and help get them really excited. Tell them how you’re going to pleasure them and how great the orgasm you’re going to give them will be.

Don't: Focus on body shape or size

It may be the case that your sex partner has body issues they don’t want attention drawn to during dirty talk. Sure, some may like to hear how big or small various body parts are, but equally, some may not. To avoid hitting a nerve, stick to positive and affirmative comments about your partner’s body without mention of size and shape.

Don't: Do things you’re not comfortable with

As with all things sex, don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. Enthusiastic consent is an absolute must for all parties involved when it comes to moments spent under (or on top of) the duvet. So, just be sure all parties are happy with anything said or done during your dirty talk experience. A great way to manage this is to have regular check-ins with each other.

Don't: Take dirty talk out of the bedroom with you

Hopefully, this one goes without saying, but we’re going to say it anyway. Keep your nocturnal activities to the bedroom or chosen space and don’t go sharing the details of your dirty talk successes too openly.


Ready to get going, but in need of a few examples to make sure things go to plan? Let’s look at 10 things to say before and during sex to get you started:

10 things to say before sex

1. I really need you right now

2. I get so turned on just thinking about you

3. I can’t wait to feel you (inside me/be inside you)

4. I want to give you the best oral you’ve ever had

5. I want to kiss you, all over…

6. You know what I’d like to do tonight

7. I can’t wait until we’re both alone so that I can get you naked

8. I’m picturing us naked together right now

9. I’ve just had the most amazing flashback to last night

10. Fancy having an early night tonight?

10 things to say during sex

1. That/you feel so amazing

2. I love how wet you feel right now

3. Don’t stop until I cum

4. This is the best feeling ever

5. You are turning me on so much

6. I want you to take control of me

7. I want to taste you

8. I want to make you cum

9. I’ve missed your body so much

10. I want you to lick/kiss me here/there

Why not try some dirty talk with your partner tonight and see what works for you? Remember, the most important thing is that you both feel comfortable and enjoy the experience, so have fun and be safe! And if you’re looking for some more tips, head on over to our Explore sex pages.

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