When it comes to cunnilingus, we’ve got 5 steps on our tongues to help
Whatever your gender, oral sex can be one of the great pleasures in life. But as with all things, when it comes to mastering the art of the tongue, there is more to it than meets the eye. Oral sex can be a good form of foreplay, or the sensational main event. Even if you’ve been with your partner or partners for a while, it’s good to treat each time like the first time and find out what they’re in the mood for at that moment.
And, while there’s no one way to do it (every person is different, after all), it never hurts to do a little research beforehand. With this in mind, it’s time to find out more about the technical side of cunnilingus, get into the 5 steps to help you give great oral, and a few bonus positions were thrown in for good luck.
Even if you’ve been with your partner or partners for a while, it’s good to treat each time like the first time
Let’s start with an easy one; what exactly is cunnilingus? Cunnilingus is essentially the technical term for giving someone with a vagina oral sex. The word cunnilingus has a Latin derivative, coming from the words cunnis (external genitalia) and lingus (to lick). Although, there is a little more detail to it than that.
More specifically, cunnilingus refers to the oral stimulation of areas like the vulva or the vagina and commonly has a specific focus on one of the most sensitive areas of the vagina – the clitoris.
The act of cunnilingus encompasses many techniques, however, the act itself is confined to the vaginal area. Although you might like to incorporate some anal play such as rimming into your oral sex routine, this would technically be classified as analingus. Side note – don’t go from back to front because bacteria from the bum could find its way to the vagina, which can increase the risk of infection. So, now you know the technical side, let’s dive into the 5 steps.
Step 1: Warm up
Most people need to warm up – both mentally and physically. Take it slowly to start with and enjoy the moment; there’s no need to rush. As things heat up, find a comfortable position, so that you are free to focus on what you need to – areas like their clitoris and vagina.
Take this time as an opportunity to focus on giving them pleasure while bringing them closer to a climax – but don’t focus on the orgasm. Focus on the journey. It’s about pleasure, most of all!
Start by letting them feel the natural rhythm of your breath on their skin. Once they’re aroused, their whole body may become more sensitive, and even the smallest actions can make a difference. Giving great oral is also just as much about enthusiasm as it is about technique, so let them know you’re enjoying the experience too with a few light moans or words of reassurance.
Once they’re aroused, their whole body may become more sensitive
Gently move your mouth around your partner’s underwear line and lower stomach. Start with what feels natural and respond to their body language. Lick, or even gently nibble as you go along. Even if their clothes aren’t actually on, you can still tease them a bit. Avoid suddenly making a beeline for areas like their clitoris. Everyone can appreciate a good warm-up.
Step 2: Start exploring
Just as variety is the spice of life, it is also true when it comes to giving great oral sex. There are many erogenous zones to explore down there, so make sure you give attention to all of them.
When your mouth first makes contact with an area like the clitoris, try not to be too hard or too soft. Listen to their signals; find the pressure that is right for them. There is a hood that covers the clitoris; some people may like direct contact, others may like it over the hood, and some don’t mind either or might prefer to switch it up each time. The point is, there are many ways to go, and it’s only by listening to your partner (either through body signals or talking) that you can find out what works for them.
If your partner has a vagina, you might want to spread their lips and flick your tongue against their clit – establishing a pace from here. Despite often being shown in porn, for some people, flicking can feel too intense, so experiment with other sensations like rubbing or sucking. Once you’ve stimulated the clit, explore other areas with your tongue and hands.
Step 3: Cover the bases
Now, it’s time to take things even deeper. They will probably getting hot by now and may want your tongue, fingers, penis, or a toy to stimulate them further, but this is the perfect opportunity to quickly check in and confirm. If your partner consents to penetration, you may want to move your tongue around the entrance to the vagina before inserting it inside. Move your tongue in and out, then back up to the clit. Follow their signals to discover the pace and movements they like. If you want to double the stimulation, try letting your tongue take care of the clit whilst your fingers are inside them. Adding a few external vibrations into the mix with a sex toy can also intensify the pleasure if they prefer not to be penetrated or if you want to take some pressure off your tongue.
For enhanced pleasure, you could introduce a lubricant or massage gel at this stage to enhance the experience. Wetter is better, especially for penetration. Using a tingling lube or Durex Intense Orgasmic Gel on the clitoris can add that something extra.
Step 4: All hands on deck
Don’t be afraid to let your hands wander. There are several erogenous zones all around the body. You could caress their chest, nipples, stomach, thighs, and bottom. This will make them feel like they can’t get enough, and they will naturally relax even more.
If it’s your first time giving oral sex, you may want to keep it simple, with the person receiving oral sex flat on their back. However, if you’re a cunnilingus regular, you may want to mix things up. Why not try having your partner gently sitting on your face or try out The Sidecar position: similar to a 69 but you both lie on your side facing towards each other, so your heads are next to your partner’s private regions.
Step 5: Relax and enjoy
The final step is just to enjoy their pleasure and satisfaction from getting oral sex - they don’t need to know we’ve helped a little. Just remember, communication is the key to great oral sex. If you’re able to sense their signals and respond accordingly throughout, then that’s great, but it also never hurts to ask. There’s no need to be shy: you’re already up close and personal together, so find out what they want, what feels good as you go along, and generously give it to them.