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How To Take The Pain Out Of Sex During Menopause


During and after menopause, you may notice sex is sometimes painful. When vaginal dryness is to blame, we look at how lube can help to make things more comfortable. 

If vaginal dryness and discomfort during menopause is getting you down, you’re far from alone. A change in hormones is often to blame, but there are things you can do to manage the symptoms. After all, no woman should have to put up with painful sex. From visiting the doctor to investing in some lube, we look at what you can do to help alleviate vaginal dryness and put the joy back into sex.


Why is vaginal dryness common in menopause?

It might not be a very sexy term, but vaginal dryness – along with hot flushes, forgetfulness and difficulty sleeping – is a common symptom of menopause. This is due to a change in hormones, which can cause thinning and drying of the vaginal walls. It’s no surprise that lack of lubrication can often make sex stressful or uncomfortable. Thankfully, there are many ways to manage dryness during sex.    

How can you tackle vaginal dryness?

A trip to your doctor or gynaecologist will help you to assess the areas of your life that are most affected, and discover the most effective ways to treat the symptoms. Doctors who address the causes will typically offer a treatment plan, personal to you. This may include lifestyle changes such as diet and exercise, alongside over-the-counter and prescription medication.    

Can lube improve painful sex during menopause?

Lube can certainly help to ease discomfort, by directly addressing dryness. And because sex is a great stress-buster, and has been identified as helping to improve physical and mental well being, you may find other symptoms such as low mood may be positively affected, too.    

When should you use lube?

Whenever you like! There are no hard and fast rules as to when or how much when it comes to lube. Think of someone who likes dancing. They’re more likely to let their hair down on the dance floor if they’re wearing comfortable shoes. Sex is a bit like that.

Feeling comfortable means you’re much more likely to enjoy everything, from the first kiss to the climax. If vaginal dryness is the cause of pain, lube can be like slipping into comfortable shoes that let you move more freely.   

What lube should you use? 

We’re all different, so it’s best to explore the types of lube – from silicone-based to water-based – to best suit your body and your needs. Durex Naturals Lube is made from completely natural ingredients and can be used with sex toys and Durex condoms to deliver plenty of moisture and pleasure. This is great news if menopause has caused your vagina and vulva to become more sensitive.     

Can your partner help to ease painful sex in menopause?

You may feel a little hesitant in discussing vaginal dryness with a partner, but by being honest and open about how it makes you feel, you’ll be encouraging a shared exploration of the various ways to help make sex more comfortable for both of you.  Menopause is a normal stage of life, and vaginal dryness is nothing to be ashamed of. Talking about the sex you’re having and the sex you want with your partner is a way of strengthening intimacy, which can improve every aspect of your relationship.    

Any compatible sexual partner should want you to be having the best time possible when you’re together – so the more they can do to help you feel comfortable, the better. Applying lube to one another can be a seriously hot part of foreplay, which as we know, is a great way of getting your natural juices flowing, too.    

Does menopausal dryness mean you’ll have to use lube forever?

Not at all. But you might find that you like the benefits of lube so much, that you’ll always have some to hand. If you try to see menopause as a gradual transition that’s similar to ageing – which doesn’t happen overnight – then you’ll start to realise that as your body changes, so too do the choices you make to accommodate those changes.    

By keeping an open mind, you’ll find that there are so many different ways to make sure you’re getting the good sex you deserve. If you enjoy sex (and to be honest, when it’s good, who doesn’t?) then try to use your knowledge (and any extras necessary) to have the very best time possible. From masturbation to trying out a new sex toy with your partner, anything that turns you on and makes you feel good should be on the cards, regardless of your age or life stage.   

If you enjoyed this, check out our Top Tips for Good Sex During and After Menopause.




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