Masturbation – a guide to self-love

Masturbation – a guide to self-love | Durex UK

Masturbation can be a great way to get to know your body and gain pleasure.


Want to know more about the world of masturbation? Or perhaps you’re a newcomer when it comes to the art of getting yourself off? Either way, we have put together the helpful introductory guide to masturbation that should help you on your path to self-pleasure. 

Masturbation can be a great way to relieve stress but there is also sometimes a lot of questions around the act. So, without further ado, let’s work our way through some of the most asked questions about masturbation. 

What is masturbation?

To put it plainly, masturbation is the act of touching yourself for pleasure, with the goal typically being to achieve orgasm. For men, this usually translates as the use of either one or two hands on the erect penis. For women, there can be slightly more variation, however, use of one or two fingers to stimulate the clitoris is commonplace.

Who masturbates?

Masturbation sometimes may not be an ideal talking point for casual conversation, therefore you may be in the dark when it comes to understanding how common masturbation is.

According to our Global Sex Survey, where we interviewed nearly 30,000 people on their sex lives, around 61% of reported that they currently masturbate/self-pleasure, with around 10% claiming to have never masturbated. 

What is mutual masturbation?

Mutual masturbation is the act of masturbating together with your partner(s). 1If you’ve never tried it before, it can be a really great way to build intimacy. Talking about sex with your partner(s) can make it more fun and can even make your relationship stronger. Some people masturbate at the same time as their partner(s).

Why not try sitting cross-legged in front of each other whilst you masturbate mutually? The great thing about this is that you both have a closeup view of what your partner is doing which can be a real turn-on. From this position, you can also easily lean forward for a passionate kiss to help heighten the excitement. Or two or more people can simultaneously stimulate each other's genitals.

How do I masturbate?

You know what they say, practise makes perfect! Afterall, 2/3 of us are not fully satisfied with our sex lives, so get to know what makes you feel satisfied.

One of the best ways to get the most out of your self-love is to learn what feels good for you. To get started, you could simply find yourself some quiet time and experiment with what feels good. Just be sure to do it safely and ensure you don’t do anything that feels uncomfortable. 

If you’re looking for guidance, why not try asking a friend that you’re comfortable with if they have any tips? They may be able to give you a few pointers to get the most out of your ‘me time’.

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Is it OK to masturbate if you’re in a relationship?

Masturbating when you’re in a relationship doesn’t always mean your partner isn’t satisfying you. It can be a great way to figure out what you like and what makes you have an orgasm. Then you can show or tell them what feels good. 

Already mastered the art of self-stimulation but looking to get more out of it? You could add some lube. 

For her, why not try out some Durex Intense Orgasmic Gel. For him, any one of our lubes should do the trick. Our Durex Play Tingling Water Based Lube, for example, can make his senses zing.

Masturbation FAQs

Have more questions when it comes to the world of masturbation? Check out our quick-fire FAQs where we answer some of the most asked questions about the act of self-love: 

Is masturbation harmful?

In short, no, masturbation is not harmful. Provided you are masturbating in a safe way, and that your masturbation isn’t getting in the way of your day-to-day life, it’s a natural and healthy thing to do. Want to know more? Check out our article on the side effects & benefits of masturbation.

Should I feel ashamed when I masturbate?

Masturbation is completely natural and is thought to have a few benefits for the body too, such as mood boosting. Getting to know yourself better through masturbation could even help you have better sex.

How can I stop feeling bad about masturbation?

There’s no easy way to fix this but it’s important to re-frame how you think of masturbation; it’s essentially an act of self-care, it can be good for you and can be a great way to look after your mental health. When you’re with friends, you could try discussing masturbation to help break down some of the stigma. This may help you feel more comfortable about the act itself.

Want to find out more about the myths of male masturbation, check out our article debunking the top 5 masturbation myths. 

How can I integrate mutual masturbation into my sex life with my partner(s)? 

A bit of mutual masturbation can be a great way of spicing things up in the bedroom and can mark a new level of intimacy. To get started ask if your partner’s up for it then it’s on.

Should I masturbate with a condom?

Well, that’s up to you and what you enjoy. But it’s always worth exploring and trying different things out when it comes to getting off. If you’re into using toys when you pleasure yourself, condoms might help keep everything hygienic and easy to clean.

Do sex toys make masturbation better? 

Each person is different, but some people do find that sex toys can increase their pleasure. When shopping, it’s worth thinking about your sexual needs and what toy might best suit them.

How do you masturbate in the bath or shower?

The bath or the shower can be popular places for a bit of self-love — largely because they represent a rare window of peace and quiet in your daily routine.  

Want to read more about all things sex? Head over to our Explore Sex blog today where we discuss everything fromphone sex to the best lube for anal.

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